Just in case some people think it is annoying when I brag about the beautiful weather / beach / pool / boating / palm trees / most other things in my new home, I thought I’d take today to tell you that it is not always sunny in Cape Coral.
Florida has its own special kinds of everyday inconveniences, and today I shall list them for your enjoyment. Now, I know that these are all very minor things, so please don’t go all “There are starving people in [insert country] that don’t even have running water!” on me. I know, I know! That is why we call them First-World Problems and laugh at ourselves for getting way too wrapped up in them.
With all that said, I give you, without further ado, my list of Florida First-World Problems:
1. Lizards will scare the bejeezus out of you. They are harmless and sort of cute, but just when you forget about their existence, one will skitter out from behind the tool box in the garage or from under the fallen palm leaf you just tried to move, causing you to scream bloody murder and wake up your elderly neighbors and their Yorkie. For example.
2. Palm trees shed leaves like it’s goin’ out of style. You can collect them and lay them neatly by the curb, walk inside and pour a lovely glass of wine, and then see another huge dead leaf in the backyard. How they are producing leaves quickly enough to replace the ones I am constantly picking up is obviously a miracle of nature.
3. You will probably have to shave your dog in the summer. Zoey is a lab, which is not a dog you’d normally shave, but she was miserable, and the groomer lady says it makes her feel better, so I succumbed. On a positive note, this does reduce the shedding immensely, but it also creeps me out because her shaved tail looks like a rat’s tail.
4. There are never enough towels. As soon as you wash and fold and stack and put away the towels, you are out of towels again! And towels take forever to dry, but they have to dry all the way or they get that icky musty smell. I guess we shower more here, and then of course we use them at the beach, at the pool, on the boat, on the kayaks… Oh! There is the buzzer! The first load of towels is finally dry! Brb.
5. We spend tons of money on sunscreen. After the epic sunburn from our kayaking trip that made me miserable for a solid two weeks, I have become a tad overzealous with sunscreen application. I apply it multiple times a day, with different types of sunscreen in case one does not work as well, whenever the sun is out or might be coming out or was recently out. This means we go through a bottle of sunscreen a weekend. You think I’m kidding, but we brought one bottle to our weekend in West Palm, ran out, and had to buy astronomically-priced sunscreen at the hotel gift shop. Cha-ching!
6. There is really no point in washing your car. I remember when our friends talked about The Rainy Season approaching, I thought “Where do they think this is? Africa? Rainy season! Pshaw!” And now every day around 4 it rains. Usually this is right around the time I’m driving somewhere and need to run in to a store.
7. Bugs. I know they have some special Florida name (Palmetto Bugs? Is that it?) but they are straight-up roaches. Whenever we come back from a few days away, there are several dead bugs in the middle of the floor. Which means that there must be live bugs in the house that are not dead yet. Actually, I do not want to continue this stream of thought.
8. I love to order stuff from Amazon, and we have Amazon Prime, so we get free two-day shipping. This has been my primary method for buying things for several years actually. But whenever I order something on Prime with my new address, on the second day, it gets “handed over to [the] local post office for delivery”, which makes it take THREE days. Three days is entirely too long to wait for my new Redken Blow Dry Spray, if you ask me.
9. Anything nice that you leave outside disintegrates within a week. Citronella candles, handmade coasters, a “weatherproof” outdoor speaker, you name it. This means that we cannot buy a nice grill because it will just turn into a pile of rust. Wah.
10. (Because every good First World Problems post has to have something about Starbucks…) There are only two Starbucks on Cape Coral and neither is near anywhere I go. I have to make coffee at home and use travel mugs, saving thousands of dollars a year and also the environment. Boo.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I think I’ll go sit on the dock and enjoy the boats going by as the sun sets over the water.
Thanks to Erica Jacquline Blog for the weekly Listed Tuesdays link-up! Click the button below to read more!