Even though we’ve been engaged for about 10 months now, this whole “wedding” thing is just now starting to feel real. Back when we first started planning the wedding, we decided to write our own vows. Jason had his done his vows a month ago, but I kept putting my off.
Now before you get all worried, I just mean that I wasn’t quite ready to write them yet. I wanted to fully understand, and be able to explain, why I chose marriage. Our relationship is great, and neither of us was going anywhere. So why did we need this whole “thing”? I mean, if it isn’t broke… right?
Marriage is terrifying, if you really think about it. You are making a promise to God and to the person you love, in front of everyone you know, that will affect the rest of your life. I’ve had an ‘out’ for most of the big decisions I’ve made, even though I rarely used it. When I chose Miami of Ohio for college, I always knew that I could transfer if it wasn’t the right place for me. When we moved to Florida this year, we knew that if we ended up hating it, we could move back or move somewhere else. I wasn’t making any promises — just giving something new a try. But marriage is definitely NOT like that, at least not for me.
But I did choose marriage. I wanted that decision to be very intentional, concrete, well-thought out. Sometimes when I make a big decision, I get that exciting feeling of taking a leap into the unknown … and this is NOT LIKE THAT at all.
I didn’t choose marriage because I was “in love.” Despite what so many romantic comedies would have us believe, just being in love is not enough to sustain a relationship. I didn’t choose marriage I wanted to have kids. I didn’t choose marriage to have a big wedding. I didn’t choose marriage because everyone else was getting married, or because my parents wanted me to, or because we were “at that point” in the relationship.
I chose marriage because I finally found someone who is worthy of my love, and who feels the same about me. I respect this man enough to intentionally join my life with his. I trust him enough to share a future with him. I chose marriage because, if we decide to have kids, I want them to believe in marriage. I know he is not like any man I’ve ever dated, and I know that our relationship is worth the sacrifices and the work it will take to maintain it. I chose marriage because he makes my life better than it was on my own.
I wrote my vows last night, and one week from now I will make those promises out loud. And I am completely, wonderfully, at peace with that.