October is right around the corner, and wedding planning is kicking into high gear for us, so I thought I’d have a little fun with it all today and share some “insight” from my experience so far. These are the 15 Things Only People Getting Married in Their 30’s Understand — enjoy!
1. Instead of everyone waiting until after the wedding to hound you about having kids, they begin asking the moment you get engaged, or maybe even as soon as you begin dating. This is followed with lots of scary statistics about people “your age” being able to have children. In fact, you should just start RIGHT. NOW.
2. People think it’s strange that your wedding date is eleven months away because obviously you need to hurry it up so you can immediately have children.
3. Your married friends’ best advice about wedding planning is to “just elope”.
4. You are so over the whole bridesmaids-in-matching-dresses-thing because you’ve been there and worn that ugly dress and you don’t want to put anyone else through it.
5. But you also kind of want revenge for all your friends who made you buy a pastel dress with a giant bow and insisted you could shorten it and wear it again.
6. Since all your friends and siblings have kids already, you have to hold a casting call for flower girl and ring bearer.
7. The first part of the wedding you plan is the open bar and signature drinks.
8. When you go dress shopping, you don’t cry when you find The Dress because you have an extra 10 years of shopping experience and damn it how are you supposed to negotiate after that?
9. Since you already have dishes and towels and a vacuum cleaner, your registry contains mostly beach chairs, a fire pit, and a margarita machine.
10. Multiple people suggest that you use Etta James’ “At Last” for your first dance song.
11. When you tell a stranger that you are getting married, she actually has the nerve to ask if this is your “first wedding”.
12. At least two of your bridesmaids are pregnant with their second or third child.
13. Anyone who tells you that you “look like a princess” while dress shopping is at risk of getting punched.
14. All of the wedding magazine pictures you once tore out and saved look eerily similar to Princess Diana and Prince Charles’ wedding details.
15. You throw all the traditional stuff out the window because you’re paying for it yourselves and you might as well do whatever the hell you please.